Thursday, June 12, 2008

A Boost for your Self Esteem

I am a Master Gardener. Most people are intimidated by this.

It's an uncomfortable title that I try not to be let known (which is why I put it on my blog). I took a 40 hour class from the USU Extension service and put in 40 hours of volunteer work to earn it. And now people think I not only know everything, but that I have a perfect lawn and garden.

#1: I do not know everything.

#2: Even if I did, knowing does not necessarily equal doing.

The purpose of this post is to disabuse y'all of the notion that I have the perfect yard. Welcome to a glimpse of my garden thus far this year.

Here is the $14 flat of geraniums that I failed to plant.

Here is the forgotten pack of Jalapeno Peppers.

Here is my weedy backdoor flowerbed. The bindweed (in bloom) and thistle are healthier than they've ever been. It must be all the rain we've had. And the fact that I haven't pulled them out yet.

Further down, in front of the lillies, is a nice big grass clump with ripening seed heads. The strawberry plants beyond the rain spout are barely visible because they have been nearly covered by weeds.

Here is the back fence bed, which also has strawberries, day lillies, and sage, none of which can be seen. Instead, the crabgrass from the neighbor's yard and sunflower seedlings from last year's flowers have taken over.

Now, you should all breathe easier knowing that my yard is such a disaster. Right? Suddenly your own gardening skills seem better, don't they?

My work here is complete.


  1. Now I don't feel so bad when I hear jungle noises coming from my yard that hasn't been cut in 3 weeks....

  2. But, but, you are a cripple! Or you have a handicap! It's like our yard last summer, I just didn't have time to work in it.

  3. You think it is a mess now? Just wait till you get those cosmo's going! Thanks for sharing your master gardening skills with those like me who have been raised by a lamanite gardening mother who never knew the truth and a wicked nephite gadening father who chose not to pass on the gardening gospel.