Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Caught in the Act

Have your kids ever caught you doing The Deed? Yes, I'm talking about THAT Deed.

One night, my 7-yr-old knocked at the door.

"Mommy? What are you doing?"

Crap. This child was supposed to be asleep.

What do you say in that situation? Do you give them the facts of life? Do you tell them that you were just wrestling? Giving back rubs?

The latter is what I settled on. Okay so maybe I'm a coward, but I believe in age-appropriate sex education, okay? And imo SEVEN is way too young to learn the mechanics of the birds and bees. Get off my case already! Oh... you weren't on my case? Well, just in case you were getting ready to get on my case, just don't even go there, kay? Are we understanding one another?

I'm glad we settled that little, uh... misunderstanding. Ahem.

Anyway.

Not too many mornings ago, the same 7-year old said to me, "Mommy, next time when you give daddy a back rub, could you be a little quieter?"

I'm starting to wonder if the cost of building a soundproof chamber in my bedroom would offset the therapy this child will probably need someday.

15 comments:

sararndt said...

I hope you don't mind I love to read your blog...you are so funny! I laughed out loud at this particular blog. I think you handled it rather ell! And yes....the honeymooner lives! lol

Lisa said...

Of course I don't mind, sara! The more the merrier. :D

And congratulations to you for being the ONLY person so far brave enough to comment on this, um, rather bold post.

dionne/dianoia said...

Lisa, you're hilarious. And slightly naughty. Which I approve of.

(Although I have to ask, how many members of your ward read this blog? Will they be able to look their Bishop in the eye this Sunday? I'm chuckling just thinking about it.)

I'm enjoying your blog so much, I've started considering doing my own. So how about doing a post about the benefits of blogging? Sell it to me, baby, 'cuz I bow before your blogging mastery.

It would add another excuse not to dust. :)

Lisa said...

Hm. I didn't see the memo concerning "Now that you're a bishop you are not allowed to have a sex life."

I don't think any of my ward members know about this blog. I hope not - good grief - my gracious bishop's wife image will be shot full of holes!

Imagine having my ward members discover that I am not, in fact, PERFECT like they are!?

It's almost too shocking to think about.

Lisa said...

Dianoia said, "I bow before your blogging mastery."

You don't get out much, do you?

Thanks for the blog post idea... I'll have to work on my "why I blog Top Ten" list.

Amidey (aka Crazy Lady) said...

You are so bold! It's almost like you have been drinking fermented juice or something. Having a sex life is fine but Megan is right...keep it down in there!

dukdub said...

Now your father knows!!!!

But then there are your teen-age daughters that read this blog!

Yea, Bishop's still get to, and Mission Pres., and Temple workers. Isn't that wonderful?

Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SuburbanCorrespondent said...

Oh,my...so glad that wasn't me.

MKL said...

Bok, it's good to know we're not the only ones who've had to come up with "creative answers" a time or two (LOL!).

Vivian said...

Well said.

Sheral Wilson said...

Okay, so - don't ask me why I was drawn to this post in particular!! (Maybe we are all a little curious about sex - I was under the impression you were going to talk about someone ELSE!!)
However - I'm sad no one told me this was allowed... We went without sex for almost two years while Joel was in the Bishopric!
;P

Funny Farmer said...

Oh... that explains why he always looked so grumpy up on the stand! I'll have to let the bishop know to put that on this Sunday's bishopric meeting agenda! HAAAAAA!

IWA said...

Too funny! I think Im cured of all the stress and anxiety Ive been carrying around! LOL! 7 yr olds say the best things!


So i live in LDS campus housing nicked name "the baby factory!" where after 8pm it is "Quiet Hours"..... needless to say... its no where close to quiet and my seven year old is always saying, "Mom, they're (upstairs neighbors) jumping on their beds again" ... squeaky bead are the worse! LOL!

Beth said...

Totally laugh out loud hysterical. Thanks for sharing! : ) I mean that.