Monday, July 28, 2008

In Which I Whine and Complain A Lot

I am not having fun. I just thought you should to know this. I have spent the last several days trying not to scratch (and failing miserably) the hives that erupted all over my body after finishing a course of antibiotics last Thursday. I've learned a few things though; lying on the couch with nothing to do but read ain't all it's cracked up to be. It's hard to feel creative when one is distracted by constant pain. It's hard to look in the mirror or go out in public when ones face is so swollen that one looks like this:

I wish that I was brave enough to post a real picture of my moon face. But I already have appearance issues enough without putting a really ugly photo of myself out there.

I've done nothing but recline on a couch for the last three days, feet elevated, applying aloe vera (thanks Kris!) and consuming a ridiculous and probably dangerous amount of benadryl while waiting for the swelling and desperate itching to subside. Hello, God? I'm ready to be done now, kay? Hello? Is this thing on?

I got out of going to church today due to the simple fact that my feet are so swollen that I cannot wear shoes. Walking on them feels like hot coals. Despite all this time I've had on my hands, I have struggled to come up with anything to blog about. Well, anything positive or funny, anyway.

So I decided to conduct a little quiz. I will post a few of the dominant whiny thoughts that keep invading my head, and your challenge is to label the Cognitive Distortions in my thinking.

1. I am never going to get my knee straight and will never be able to clog right ever again.

2. But probably no one will notice because my clogging was already pretty crappy before I had surgery.

3. This itching will never stop and I will go stark raving mad and become a serial killer or maybe something even worse: a vegetarian.

4. I should just get up and tough it out instead of lying here like an invalid.

5. Every time I get ready to start a serious weight loss effort, something like this happens.

6. My SIL's probably think I'm faking it so I won't have to do my share of the work.

Ready, set, GO!


  1. 1. Never = overgeneralization. As for clogging right, I can certainly help you with that. I seem to remember you saying that several times during the class. You did it once, you will do it again.
    2. You know you were the absolute highlight of the Chrismas recital. No, not just Jessica, YOU. When I tell people I am good friends with you they say, "oh that great clogger? Which one, the brunett or the blonde?". And I proudly say,"the blonde". And they say, "She seems like a fun lady". and I say, "Why yes she is". You clog so well that you even look like someone they all want to get to know because you make it look so easy and delightful.
    3. Some may say this is fortunetelling but I think it is entirely possible that hives can turn you into a serial killer. Vegetarian...never.
    4. Should statement...tisk tisk tisk. You are on vacation after all.
    5. Overgeneralization again. Nothing quite like this has ever happened. You are looking at what a week delay, maybe two. Were you planning on starting this week? Really?
    6. Mind reading at it's best. I don't think they think you injected your body with something to make it swell and turn blotchy just so you could get out of a few hand dishes.
    This is a medical condition that needs rest and tending. This in no way makes you lazy or less of a person. You are an amazing clogger and a great sister in law, a great mother to sacrifice your own comfort for your childrens desires,however I still think the serial killer is a legitimate concern. Watch that!

  2. Looks like Amidey did the work for us all, so what's left for me is to be snarky. :D

    Is it really wrong that your list made me laugh? I mean, having hives, itchiness and swelling on vacation is a crappy deal for sure. So, why try to make it seem worse? Are you really thinking all those things or did you write them to find out who's been paying attention in class?

    I hope you're feeling better soon.

  3. Ok - I'm new here. But I'll add to the Crazy Lady (who must be one of the wise great ones by her comments) that it's NEVER a good idea to take thoughts thunk in these situations seriously. The hamster gets going around the wheel overtime.

    Take Care - I'm thinking hugs aren't a good idea. Even long distance.

  4. Welcome to mommom - and yes of course you are right. I tell myself that this too shall pass, but my goodness it is taking its sweet time, you know? As for hugs, you pegged that one too. I am on strike from any kind of physical contact for this week. No touchy! (name that movie)

    Amidey, of course you are right and scored a perfect 6 of 6 on the CogDis. Keep it up girl. Isn't it funny how easy it is to identify distorted thinking in someone else? Well, okay, not exactly funny funny... but you get my drift.

    Hics - I'm glad my list made you laugh. The serial killer one was a joke, but the rest were real. While I have felt terribly guilty for lazing around, I know that I don't have a choice. It's terribly frustrating for this strong willed, independent woman to be grounded, again.

    I don't know... I'm starting to see a pattern here. Must think on this some more.

  5. Lisa, my heart goes out to you in a very real way. I had severe hives for 18 months -- it's a long story. :) I feel for you my friend. Cool baths really help. Zoning out on benedryl really helps. Watching all the movies that you "never have time for" and reading all the books you can get your hands on really helps too. And if it makes you feel any better, a dermotologist told me that it was ok to scratch. :) What can I do to help? I have LOADS of the readers digest books. They are great because they are short and edited. :) I can bring a stack by if you would like!. :)

  6. Lisa, the movie you are refering to is Emperor's New Groove. Look at me with all the answers today. If only I could make up a step to a dance.

  7. I liked this post. I shouold do one like this on my blog, so you could straighten out my crooked thinking. Sorry you are so miserable. I got horrible hives after my car accident in 2002. The only thing that cured it was pregnizone. (sp) But the cure was pretty bad itself, so I don't know what is worse.

  8. Yeah, Pat, I'd have to be pretty desperate to turn to prednisone... thankfully this case was mild enough that it was treatable with Aloe Vera and benadryl.

    Dingdingding we have a winner with the Emperor's New Groove! One of my favorites for good lines. Look at me and my bad self!

  9. also the curtains in grandma's den remind me of that movie. I just had never realized it until this moment ha ha

  10. It is distorted to me that you feel lazy and useless, when you have cooked 2 meals, (both were delicious and everyone else of the web missed out) washed plenty of dishes, aided your children as they needed you and given your SILs wise council.
    I think it is dang impressive for someone with hives who can't really walk. It is a reminder for me to be greatful and do all that I can since at this moment I am blessed with good health and sleeping kids.

  11. Yea, Kris, she's that way. Says she does nothing, but actually does lots. I tried to raise her right, but.......

  12. Are you feeling any better??? I didn't want to ask too soon... I kinda' dislike that.

  13. I am quite a bit improved in that the swelling and visible red patches have receded, thankfully. I still am itchy, so still taking the benadryl. Thanks for asking, polly! :)

  14. wow! so rude talking about jessica like that behind her back...or right in front of her FACE!! (don't you think she might read this blog?!) and what about you other sisters not standing up for her! well, I will! she did a great job in the clogging performance. in fact, Lisa would have looked pretty funny all by herself up there.

  15. Just to clarify. When I say "you" were the highlight of the recital, I meant Lisa and Jessica (not Jessica alone or Lisa alone) that is why I had to clarify ,"the blonde one" as being my friend because they both rock that stage. I am better friends with Lisa but still very good friends with Jessica too and she is an AWESOME clogger! Lisa tends to think that Jessica is the star of the show and she is just there for support but they BOTH are absolutely AMAZING!!! Hopefully that clears things up.

  16. Hey Lisa,

    So I am taking a packing break and finally getting a chance to catch up on your blog and am having a most enjoyable night of reading, thank you very much for that!! :) I wouldn't have traded places with you in Seattle for anything, even if mom didn't have a dishwasher. :) I am really glad that you are feeling better. I didn't feel like I got to visit with you very much so I am excited that I only have a few weeks until we get there.