Friday, August 15, 2008

Almosta Woman

I suspect that maybe I'm not a real woman. I mean, sure, I have all the right body parts, so there's no confusion there. But there are so many typical feminine things that I just don't get. For example:

  1. Shopping: I would rather stick hot needles in my eyes. Unless we're talking about Home Depot--then I am so there!
  2. Clothes: What do you mean, t-shirts aren't 'fashionable?'... whatever the heck that means...
  3. Shoes: 8 pair is a lot of shoes for one person to own, isn't it?
  4. Accessories: I have one black leather purse. 'nuff said.
  5. Jewelry: Wedding ring-- check. Watch-- uh... the battery needs replacing. Necklaces, earrings, bracelets, etc-- Ahahahahahahahahahaha--Ahem. No.
  6. Hair: I have never colored my hair and I have worn the same hairstyle as far back as my memory goes, which actually isn't very far, so hey, I could be wrong about that last one.
  7. Pedicure/manicure: I am not exactly sure what those words mean. All I know is that I don't own nail polish.
  8. Makeup: I do wear makeup, actually. DingDingDing - there's one for the woman column! No lipstick though.
  9. Wedding: I wanted to elope. We only had a reception because mom was afraid of what the neighbors might think.
  10. Multitasking: I can't talk on the phone and fold laundry at the same time, let alone cook dinner or drive.
  11. Interests: I like computers. And power tools. And farm animals. People.... not so much.
  12. Crafts/scrapbooking/home decor: Bwahahahahahahahahahhaa.... nope.
  13. Babies: The early phase of life that parents endure until their children get interesting. Sure, they're cute. Next?

I'm sure there are more. I'm just too depressed to keep listing them. Okay not really depressed depressed. Hi dad! :wave:


  1. What I think is so neat about life is that there are so many varied and interesting people in this old world. How boring if we were all the same! It doesn't take lace and foo-foo to make a real woman. You forgot to mention that you are a killer cook, a great mom, well read, athletic (I know you will get that knee whipped back into shape!) and a very caring, loving, giving person. You always make others want to try a little harder to be their best selves. That makes a real woman in my my book!

  2. Ditto to what Marge said. Thank you Marge for saying those things that are so her.

    I waved, Lisa. I remember that it was always a chore for your mother to take you shopping. But that's OK. You are very beautiful when you dress up. And I am proud to be seen with you. I love you.

  3. You are a real woman, just not a girly-girl, and who wants to be that!!

    Keep being yourself and lovin it.

  4. I think the issue, Kris, is that sometimes I do wish I were more of a girly girl. I dunno. It comes and goes. I think maybe I just need to get out more...

  5. Thanks Marj and dad, for your kind words. I could debate the killer cook part, but I'll let it slide. Just this once. :)

    Yeah, my mom was much more typical in her womanliness - at least the shopping part. My daughters are very feminine. I guess that gene just skipped a generation.

  6. Wait... Ok... So I Love computers and technology in general (YES!!) That's a strike? No one told me!

    -And I love wearing T-shirts
    -I don't own lots of shoes
    -I'm currently wearing one very modest cameo and well it would be my wedding ring if it fit but it's a different ring on that finger,
    -I do color my hair - I was losing my highlights dagnabbit ;)
    -Until this year I bought 1 purse every ooooohhhh 10 years? I did find a patter than I like for tote bags though. So.. ok -
    -Manicure - no time -
    - I do like crafts...
    - I'm completely in grandparent training at this point. Lots and lots of it.

    So is there a point system or something ;)

    Naaah - the great thing about being a woman is we getting to pick and choose. The words normal and typical? What do they really mean anyway? And is it any fun....

  7. This from the woman who has the most amazing sparkly blue eyes and gorgeous bright smile. You don't cake on the make-up because you don't need it. You don't need to color your hair because you are one of the five people in the world who is actually naturally blonde. Okay so you don't wear ruffles and bows. You are a WOMAN, not a five year old. Who doesn't love power tools? You are caring and sensitive and understanding. Okay, I will stop now but girl, you are an amazing woman!

  8. i think this calls for a GIRLS night out. you are a fabulous woman and i love hangin with ya. that must make you cool, right ;) love know you ROCK in my book!

  9. Who "defined" what a real woman is anyway? Does this come from the era when women weren't supposed to be interested in cool things? Times have changed. We were all sent with different talents and skills. At least we live in a day and age when we can explore those interests and not feel like freaks like the women of 50 years ago must have felt! Can you imagine wanting to study science and math and business only to be told that that wasn't your place? That would have killed me! Not the studying math or science part but the business part would have hurt! :)

  10. Peacekeeper I think a Girl's Night Out sounds simply marvelous. Just don't take me to a spa.

    Good points, Jen. :)

    Oh, and when I wrote this little ditty, I didn't even think about the compliment avalanche it would unleash. I am not needing validation here; I actually do like myself, in general. I just thought it was kinda funny how many so called "traditional" female things I do not do.

    Ooooh - I thought of another one today at Wal-Mart when Karianne and Susan each asked for their own set of tweezers. I asked Susan what she uses tweezers for.

    "Eyebrows, mom."

    Oh. Yeah.