Sunday, August 17, 2008

A Piercing Scream Ripped the Air. Twice.

Alternate Title: The one with disjointed thoughts and run-on sentences.

Okay not really on the screaming. Anyone who blogs knows that coming up with a clever title that relates to the post contents is the hardest part of blogging. Well, maybe not THE hardest part, but it's right up there with finding time to sit down and blog, thinking of cool things to blog about, inventing provocative poll questions, waiting for videos to upload, embedding code in posts without mangling it beyond functionability, and being real without embarrassing family members to death and losing their trust so they never tell me anything again.

Anyway - while at first glance the post title above may not seem to be related to this post. Keep reading, and hopefully you'll see how in my twisty, windey way, I tie it all together at the end. You can even suggest alternate titles, and I'll put the best ones at the top of this post.

So, I've been moaning publicly about my lack of feminine qualities lately. I think this issue is on my mind because I've been hanging out with cute people who are more stylish and skinnier than I am. This actually pretty much sums up going to church. About 90% of my ward is younger and thinner and more hip than me. It's that dratted comparison game - I always lose and can't for the life of me figure out why I continue to play. If only we'd purchased that other house we were considering in that older neighborhood in Orem, where most of the ward would be in their 50's by now, I wouldn't be going through this painful introspection today!

Now what was I talking about before? :slaps cheeks lightly: Come on girl, focus...

Oh yes. While I've never been a lover of lace and bows and frills, on clothes or anything else, I remember an era around 1-7 BC (Before Children) when I was skinny and I did enjoy dressing up more and owned a few cute stylish clothes and wore pierced earrings and painted my fingernails and spent time on eye makeup and performed the batting of eyelashes when cute boys were around and once even tweezed my eyebrows! So I know that I do have it in me, somewhere. Somewhere deep.

I had my ears pierced in High School, right before the Junior Prom. Over the years my parents gave me various pairs of earrings and I loved them all. Every now and then I'll run across the box where I store them, and reminisce and feel a little sad that I can't wear them anymore due to the fact that I let my post holes heal over during early motherhood after baby Karianne yanked on my earrings one too many times and I removed them.

There is the pair of pearls I wore for my wedding. And the green jade dangly ones dad gave me when I graduated from college. There is a lovely pair with freshwater pearls dangling from short chains - except that this pair is now a single lonely earring due to the other being lost one night while I was bidding an enthusiastic farewell to my future husband (but neither of us knew it at the time) outside my dorm. But because this is a family-friendly website I'll just leave that story be. Ahem.

And then there are the several pairs of earrings that I have brought home from my mother's vast jewelry collection in the last year: dainty porcelain roses, delicate silver butterflies, and sparkling zirconia with matching pendant on a thin gold chain. I've brought them home, planning to give them to my girls someday, but secretly wishing that my ears hadn't healed shut and I could wear them myself.

And then a friend told me that getting ears re-pierced through the same holes doesn't hurt like the blazing suns like I thought it would, and I began thinking about actually doing it.

Do you think I should?

Too late. I already did. And while I was at it, I took Megan and got her ears pierced too, since she's been nagging me for over two years now and I figured that I might as well reverse my earlier wise parental edict that girls must reach the completely arbitrary age of twelve before paying people to poke holes in their ears, which will probably have the effect of spoiling her rotten and teaching her that family rules are debatable and starting her on the slippery slope into a rebellious teenager-hood and I'll have guilt and grief over this decision. But hey, at least I'll look cute while it happens.

I'm so glad I got my priorities straightened out on this issue.

Here is the photographic evidence of our mutual mutilation at the mall.

One ear down, one to go, and she's still smiling! (It's all an act, folks. That thing stung. But I didn't want the bossy little asian chick with the gun to see me cry. She scared me a little bit.)

Megan is so excited and takes heart because mom made it look so utterly easy.



Megan decided that she would probably live, and sucked it up for the pictures.

And this is how I came to understand that I am a real woman after all: because I am willing to endure pain and torture for the sake of fashion and I am teaching my youngest daughter to do the same.

There's a lot of personal policies being thrown under the bus lately.

Stay tuned for the next exciting installment of my feminine metamorphosis: Lisa Shaves Her Legs!


  1. Very Cute :). I have to have this conversation from time to time with my kids as relates to appropriate times to do things, as well as saying when I won't support doing something (like telling my son that he's not getting his ear pierced, and then having him ask me what those three holes in my left ear and that one in my right ear is... fortunately, I haven't worn anything in them since he's been alive, so the "do as I say, not as I used to do" still carries a little weight (LOL!).

  2. It hurts more and takes longer when you repierce your own ears by shoving an earring through the healed over hole. Just sayin.

    Like really BIG hair, this is something that has happened to me when I feel bored and girly at the same time.

  3. Oh, and Ah ha! You're not really as ungirly as you think you are. I think you've just gotten into the Mom rut where taking the effort to do those extra more girly things gets spent on paying attention to house, husband and kids. I've been there, lived there actually, and I visit often. It's nice to go back and embrace the girlishness sometimes. And find a better balance.

    Oh, and you very nearly had it right with the blog title. :D I vote for: An Ear-Splitting Scream Ripped the Air. Twice.

  4. You didn't even let on that it hurt at all. Megan was so brave. That asian chick was scary to me too. I was glad she wasn't piercing my ears. Hiccups has a great title, I am not creative enought to come up with anything better. Maybe you could have something waxed and blog that. That would be FUNNY!!!

  5. Kudos to you and your daughter! I've never had my ears (or anything else) pierced on the account of me being a gutless coward. I figure labor and delivery puts me waaaay up on the pain scale for many years to come. :)

  6. Ooooh, Amidey, too bad Lisa wouldn't be bound by a vote. I'm betting we could get a good majority to vote for that waxing idea. I'd say eyebrows would be fitting since she has by her own addmission forgotten what tweezers are used for. :P And they are a small area, so they are done fast.

  7. Whoa people. Waxing is like... wrong. I'm sure I've read a "thou shalt not wax" somewhere in the scriptures.

    No way, no how. Nuh uh. I can't hear you!!!!!

  8. What did I miss? Did this have another title, and you used hiccups sugestion?

    Quote; "About 90% of my ward is younger and thinner and more hip than me." Did you see what you said? That those skinny types have bigger hips than you? HEE HEE

    Does this mean I can give you know who, you know what, for her B-day?

  9. the picture of you and your daughter is so very sweet. You look like you had a fun day!

  10. i just love the two pics of you and megs. adorable!!! those should be blown up and put on her wall especially the front shot. its a keeper for sure. i vote for the eyebrow is over so fast and looks great for a while. plus gives you the shape so you can start tweezing to keep it up. just make sure they shape not remove ;)

  11. Well Lisa, You are turning into a girly-girl bit by bit.
    I love my RS I am the youngest in the class every week, except for one 18 year old on her way to college. All our cool, hip sisters are in YW and primary. I am pres of the old foogies club.

  12. ME TOO!!! ME TOO!!! I am voting that Lisa gets waxed and then tells the tale!!! It would be so great!

    Is it right that we all get such joy and happiness from your pain? I think not and will try (the key word being try) to not enjoy your pain as much in the future. AFTER you do the waxing post. :)