Saturday, August 30, 2008

Husband Hero

My husband and I try to get out of the house on a date once a week. Unfortunately, we usually don't plan ahead, and when Friday night rolls around, this is what usually happens:

Does anyone in the world besides us have this problem? And is it even a problem? Maybe it's just a symptom of being married for a long time. Maybe the realities of raising children killed romance and stomped the bloody carcass beyond all recognition. Maybe I'm lucky to still be married at all, since only 52% of marriages last 15 years (we've been hitched for 17.5 years), and I should stop whining about lack of romance and just count my blessings already!

Well, there is a group of enterprising folks who are betting that there are plenty of married couples with this problem--and they assure me that it is indeed a big problem-- and they have the solution (click on the picture to link to the website):

The Husband Hero service promises to "make romance easier" by reminding husbands about important occasions, passing along great romantic ideas via email, and to give husbands "mind reading powers", so they're guaranteed that their romantic efforts will "knock the ball out of the park".

So, lemme see if I got this straight: Husband Hero is a bunch of guys who, in exchange for money, will teach other guys how to get some? But that's just my cynical side showing. Just ignore that. Ahem.

I am not sure how to feel about this service. It sounds like a great idea on the surface, but would it be weird knowing that my husband's romantic gestures were not his idea, but came from an email reminder?

What do y'all think?


  1. I must admit, I think this is a fabulous idea. So the romantic gestures are not his idea, at least there would be romantic gestures. Let's see, none at all...or some with help. I like the latter. I don't know that many guys think up great dates or romantic guestures on their own. Maybe they get help from a co-worker or a friend if they do anything at all. I would rather have an anonymous person helping than someone we know. Most of the time I think it is seeds planted relentlessly by the wife like,"Honey, I checked the price an availabitliy of that hotel if you want to book it". I like that it is e-mail too. I wouldn't want someone calling him on the phone,"Sir? When was the last time you did anything for your wife?" My poor husband needs all the reminders and help he can get. We have been married only 13 years but I think it is the same. Perfect video clip btw. We literally recite that scene from that movie almost every friday, with the british accent and all. Can you tell you have pushed a button with me. I am guessing this will push a lot of women's buttons. I am tempted to try the free 3 month trial membership. Am I pathetic or what?

  2. i am afraid some of the romance suggestions we have received in the past cost too much money. we need cheap or free romance ;) sounds like it might work?!

  3. I'm think my husband would feel insulted if I suggested this. But then he really likes to surprise me every now and then - not really always with what, but how. So, if I knew he was signed for a service he would never use any of the ideas.

    Truthfully, it would take a bit away for me, too.

    Then again.... he is making an effort.

    Although we still have been known to do the "I don't know... what do you want to do?" routine. I do my best if he asks to offer a suggestion. Then if he shoots it down the ball is totally in his court :)

  4. I'd say no thanks to this idea. Turns out, I'm not a big romantic fuss kind of gal. I imagined I was as a teenager, but in reality, I like things low key. And that's about what I have now. :D

  5. I agree with amidey, at least there would be gestures. Most of the time that I want something to happen and it doesn't then I feel disappointed. OR, I start reminding my husband weeks in advance of an important date so that he'll get the hint and do something, and then I'm disappointed that I had to remind him. At least this way he'd remember and possibly act on his own without me having to be involved. Of course, on the flip side I hate surprises, so....

  6. I think that a weekly date is all you need, you don't need to have a special thing to do each week. Just go have fun, drive, romantic movie, dinner, sit somewhere and talk.......But go on that date!

  7. I'll have to check it out!

    If you make the e-mail on your Blogger profile page public (by checking the box), I can respond directly to your comments at my place. I use a separate e-mail just for the blog, so the whole world doesn't know my real e-mail, of course.

    Thanks for stopping by...our Rachel's behavior definitely made us cringe, too; but thankfully, it seems to have run its course. We are a tad worried about the teen years, however.

  8. After 18.5 years, we have spent far too many dates doing the "what do you want to do" thing too. I always feel frustrated by it and wish that more thought had gone into our time together. Somehow, I think because of our culture, I have put that responsibility on my dh. Does it really belong there? We are both incredibly busy. We both work full time. We both have demanding church callings. We both are scheduled to our eyeballs with the kids. So does it always have to fall on my dh to do all this planning? I agree that sometimes it is so wonderful to have him come up with the idea, get the tickets early, pick the place to eat, etc. But he is also always open to me doing the planning and "asking him out". :)

  9. Hmmm... on one hand, I love the idea behind this in that it at least gives guys some things to ponder and think about, and also puts the ideas in their heads of things to suggest and try. On the other hand, guys taht woul;d actually consider sdoing something like this already are attuned in such a way that they are at least *trying* to consider options to keep romance alive. For those guys (and I certainly hope I can xconsider myself one of them ;) ) I think there are plenty of places to go and get ideas without haing to pay for a service to remind you.

    On my end, I alweays make sure I have something on tap to suggest. Sometimes it flies, sometimes it doesn't, but I always try to have something to suggest. That way, if it doesn't work, and another opportunity presents itself, we both had a chance to talke about it and say "yeah, OK, we can do that".

    I'll echo dukdub's comment. Go out and do anything on that date night, but make sure you actually go out.

  10. We must be doing something okay because we are part of the 33% that makes it to their 25th anniversary... We share in thinking up ideas and sometimes they aren't terribly exciting, but we just enjoy being together... so we still sit on the swings at the park and talk (or sit on the couch and look at old pictures and remember the stories...)

    My parents made it 71.5 years and they always did a lot of talking... I think that is key... I am not sure the vehicle to getting some communicating done is all important... but I do think it is important to talk and LISTEN together...