Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Last Night I Dreamed

Which is odd, because I almost never dream. Yes, I know everybody dreams every night, we just don't always remember the dreams unless we wake up right after a dream yada yada yada. It's so much easier and simpler to say "I don't dream", and everybody knows what I mean. Right?

Can I continue with my story now?

Thank you.

So, last night I dreamed. Twice. And they were both odd. The first dream was about my neighbor's husband, who is a computer programmer or maybe an engineer. I'm not exactly sure. He also plays the piano. She came to visit me or I went to visit her, or we met on the streetcorner in San Francisco or something - the venue kept shifting strangely. Anyway - she had a video Ipod and showed me a music video. Because her husband had quit his engineer job and joined a band as the piano player. But the video only showed the top of his head since he was behind the piano. Weird.

The second dream I almost forgot about, until just now when I was typing the first dream. I dreamed that I was pregnant. OH wait - that's not a dream, that's a nightmare! Anyway. It gets worse. I was only a few weeks along - like 6 or so, and went in for a checkup and the nurse was making a big deal about how she just knew I was having twins. I stared at her dumbfouded. How the heck could she know that - I wasn't even showing yet! She waggled her finger and smiled in a knowing way. "I just know these things!" And I said, "well, wouldn't it show on an ultrasound?" And then she got all weird and mumbled something about how expensive ultrasounds are, blah blah blah, and I said, well, my insurance covers it, right? And she said, "Yesbut."


So I said fine I'll just wait to have an ultrasound at 20 weeks cuz as long as we're looking we might as well see if it's a boy or girl. And she couldn't believe that I would want to wait that long to find out if I were having twins and didn't I want an ultrasound today? And also next week?

And then I socked her right on her stupid mouth and walked out of the office. And when I got to my car and looked back at the clinic, it had turned into a house of candy.


  1. Thanks for the laugh. When I was told at 8 weeks that I was carrying twins, I wish that I would have socked the Dr in the face too. Almost 5 years later I am still in denial.

  2. You are very strange! I guess that isn't exactly new information. Maybe it is a premonition. Oh dude. I would die laughing! Ha ha ha ha hah ahahahahahahahahahah.

  3. I'd love to go all psycho-babble on you, but I'm laughing too hard... so I'll just share one of my favorite quotes (it was written on a sticker that I cherished in my teenage years)

    "Freud would be fascinated, but Freud is dead."

    thank goodness, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want his take on your obsession with neighbor's hubby and the impending birth of twins!

  4. So funny! Don't you wish you could really sock somebody when they were being stupid?

  5. Just curious, but what exactly did you have for dinner last night...?

    Seriously, I have freaky dreams all the time. My husband thinks I'm a nut. Which may be a little true, but still.

  6. Eliza - YES I DO! In fact I have a violent streak that I am just not brave enough to let out. Which is probably a good thing since it keeps me out of jail.

  7. T - I do NOT have an obsession with my neighbor's hubby! That's why I thought it was so weird that I dreamed about him!

    A - don't EVEN start with the premonition thing. NOT funny. At. All.

  8. Okay, I guess you are crazy. And where's the political commentary? We just had the most historical election in the history of the world since G.W. cheated 4 years ago. (j/k he didn't cheat. Florida cheated. j/k)

    It's boring and bad that you don't care.

    You should have entered this in Shelle's Don't You Hate it When contest. Cause I DO hate it when I dream I'm pregnant.

    There's a lot to be analyzed in that though. I'm a professional dream interpreter.

    So did you hear I gave America a theme song today? Go listen.

  9. You dreamed you were pregnant because you are, obviously. :P (And weird dreams are a symptom of pregnancy, so you, dearie, are hosed.)

  10. For future reference, Funny Farmer, oh pregnant one, you may feel free to remove the extra post when I stutter like that. I blame it on the touch mouse thing on the laptop. We're still getting to know each other.

  11. What would you name the twins? That's what I want to know.

    And I do find it strange that you dreamed this dream on the night of the election.

    Where is Joseph when you need him. Maybe you could just ask Donny Osmond to interpret your dreams. He He that one was for our mutual friend Crash Test Dummy.

  12. are you trying to soften the blow to us that you are having TWINS...because I wouldn't long as it wasn't me!!!

    LOL...I hardly ever remember my dreams...but I would want to if I dreamed like that...too funny!

  13. Man, I could tell you some dreams. But I had better not.