Monday, October 20, 2008

The Eyebrow Adventure, aka Amidey Made Me Do It

So. When I entered my midlife crisis this summer and realized that my Chick Card had been revoked, I first did the ear piercing thing. I also began to consider getting my eyebrows waxed, with a fair amount of encouragement from some of you (see comments for the last two posts). Yes, it is true, my friends; somehow I reached 39 years of age without ever having had any hair ripped off my face (or any other part of me, thank you very much). It was part of the "a la naturale" thing I had going... no hair color, no piercings, no tattoos, no eyebrow waxing, and for several years, no eye makeup. I was downright granola for awhile, I'm telling you! I even made my own homemade granola. Also yogurt, cheese, and butter from raw milk gotten from a cow I milked myself. I wore Birkenstocks with socks, even. (But not while milking the cow.)

So, with that kind of emotional baggage, you can understand my reluctance to get my eyebrows done. My whole identity revolved around being REAL. Hair color and eyebrow waxing were for shallow girlie women who secretly hated themselves and were insecure about their appearance. My husband liked me the way I was. I liked me the way I was. Mostly. Well, sometimes. And above all, I didn't want to get my eyebrows done just because most of my friends thought I should. If I was going to do it, I would do it because I wanted to do it.

So I waited more than a month. (Bad writing alert: I started three straight paragraphs with the word, "so". The floggings shall commence immediately.) I waited, because I am stubborn and spiteful. And I looked at my eyebrows in the mirror every morning; with each passing day they began to look bushier. Finally I capitulated. I called Kari Rawlings of New Reflections Salon and made an appointment for myself and Jessica, my lovely fellow Sister-OutLaw.

My handsome but annoying husband overheard the conversation and smirked as I got off the phone.

"I knew you would end up doing it. If Amidey wants you to do something, you always do it."

If he hadn't been holding a reciprocating saw, I might have socked him. Instead, I stuck my tongue out and put my fingers in my ears.

"NanaNanaBooboo!"

And then I ran.

What a dork. (Him, not me.) (As if I needed to tell you that.) (Right?)


So, last Wednesday we went. Amidey came along to document the process. We are nothing if not dedicated bloggers, after all.

Behold, the videos.


video

video


Worse than the waxing, however, was the tweezing that commenced after the camera was turned off. Dude. That really hurt. I was yelping and crying and making a complete fool of myself in the chair. Okay not really. But I saved up the pain and went home and cried like a baby later that night.


And here, we are, Jessica and myself, after the ordeal was over.


The funny thing is... I don't know that I see a whole lotta difference. Do you?


Before


After

Yikes - take a look at the wrinkles around those eyes!? Whoa, baby - I think a little botox might be called for here! I mean, hey, I'm already well down the slippery slope of appearance artifice, right? Why stop now? I could be young forever -- Wheeeeeee!


What's that? Too late, you say? TOO LATE?! Are you calling me... OLD!?

&$*&@! so called "friends"! Who needs you, anyway! :stalks off to make voodoo dolls:

You will rue the day you mocked the Funny Farmer!

Scared yet? No? :sigh:


OH! Wanna know what my husband said when he got home that night and saw my new brows?

Nothing. He didn't even notice.

Shocker.

18 comments:

dukdub said...

Hi, Lisa, I can tell the underside is a little sharper, no little hairs. But if it hurt, then she must have pulled some out, right? Bawled, huh? I did too, my baby is going worldly!!!!

(Just kidding)

Becky said...

Uh, not to be a party pooper, but I didn't see a huge change either.

But you've got blonde-ish eyebrows, you lucky dog! Mine are dark enough that I get one stray eyebrow hair and the whole world notices. Sigh...

Pat said...

First of all, big kudos to you for going through with it. Way to give into peer pressure and video document it for all of us. No one can say you don't sacrifice for the sake of the blog.

Second, I am sorry, but I agree with you, I can't tell much difference. Not that I would want them to shave your eyebrows just so I can see a difference, because I think that may be what it will take. I agree with Becky. LUUUCKEEEEE! Now you can say you did once and save your self the money and pain.

I did laugh out loud at the thought of Botox. Slippery slope indeed. At least you are not trying to compete with a second wife. hee hee do you think your husband would notice that?

hiccups said...

Ok, a couple of things...

granola recipe? :D

I see a difference, but she definitely kept your brows on the thicker side. It would be better to see how it effects the look of your face if the after pic didn't have your eyes all squinted (from smiling, I'm guessing.)

I think it looks good. And now you've tried something new. :D

What's up with the different sized fonts? :P

There is nothing wrong with wearing Birks. I love mine. They make my feet so happy. (And they'd better considering they were custom and pricey.)

That is all.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey, gorgeous, how fun to see you up close and personal. Very up close and very personal--eyebrows bleeding and all.

I thought your teeth were amazingly straight and white. Are you sure this is only the first step in your feminizing process?

I also thought your eyes were just a bright blue and beautiful before the make-up. Might as well go Au Natural is you can get away with it. And it's amazing you've gone this long. I started tweezing at 31. But maybe I should do the wax.

I liked the brow after though. They look clean.

FUN POST!

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Oh, and typical your husband didn't notice. hee hee. We certainly don't get all beautified for them do we!?

And you don't have wrinkles!

Silly Funny Farmer.

T said...

the tweezing is the worst - and with my dark eyebrows I have to keep it up weekly or just give up and go all Brooke Shields (think her eyebrows in the 80's) on you!

My hubby never notices either... haircuts especially. Last time I trimmed baby girl's hair he noticed the trash (we have the same color) and came to tell me how nice my new haircut was... OOPS, not this time!

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

I can tell the difference because I do not like bushy eyebrows or yellow teeth but I'm vain like that...You have gorgeous eyes though...seriously you do...and you are so brave for doing that on video...I definitely smiled! :)

My husband never notices either! :)

Eliza said...

You are beautiful waxed or not. And you are definately funny. Way to keep up a brave face admist all the pain!

jen said...

I love the new eyes!!! I had never even for a second thought that the "old ones" were bad but I definitely see a difference and love them!!!

By the way, Kari is who does all my hair maintenance and she is WONDERFUL!!! Never takes things too extreme the first time because she knows that it can be such a shock. Maybe this is why you don't see as big of a difference as you thought you were going to see. Then again, I don't think you needed more than this. It is wonderful!

Christina said...

Hey I happen to love Kari of New Reflections salon! She does my hair, and pretty much she's my favorite lady ever. Cept you, of course, Lisa.

Christina said...

Hey I happen to love Kari of New Reflections salon! She does my hair, and pretty much she's my favorite lady ever. Cept you, of course, Lisa.

The Crash Test Dummy said...

Hey there, I think my blog make-over is happening tonight! aaaaah! I'm so excited. But brace yourself because change is always hard. It's kind of like getting your eyebrows waxed. Maybe no one will notice! ;)

Kris said...

Hey!

Way to go. I see a difference! I'm glad you and Jessica had fun. Since you said it hurt, I probably will stay a natural, at least for the eye brows.

Pat said...

Hey Amidey, can you use your power of pursuasion to get Lisa to write me a check for $1000? Thanks.

Be sure to use your powers for good, OK?

Amidey (aka Crazy Lady) said...

Pat, if I had that much power I would persuade Lisa to write ME a check for at least that much. Actually, Lisa is a closet prissy princess and has now decided to use me as the excuse to MAKE her do these things. I tried to talk her out of it but she insisted! I think all these years of hiding has really gotten to her. All we can do is lover the way she is.

hiccups said...

Oooh, nobody tell her, but I'm gonna get Lisa a "Prissy Princess" t-shirt for Christmas.


Muhahaha.

Laura said...

Crash said I had to check you out- your blog I mean... well you too. whatever
I took her shopping with me yesterday for a "girls day" I needed some girl advice! (I'm a mother of 4 boys and feel I am slipping... slipping down a slope where I don't even FEEL like a girl anymore! Anyway- she said you were going through something similar...
love the eyebrows...
Laura