Monday, April 2, 2007

Mountains and molehills

I'm feeling a fair amount of apprehension today. My chest feels tight and fluttery, like it does right before a piano recital or big game. I'm nervous, and I think I may know why.

My mother is scheduled for major surgery tomorrow (Tuesday). She needs heart bypass surgery, and the doctors have been in a dither what to do about her. Apparently she's a special case, with higher risk factors than most. I get the feeling that her doctor is afraid to operate. The surgery has been rescheduled three times. It's been a bit of a roller-coaster ride, gearing up emotionally for the event each time, and then the letdown of disappointment/relief when it was canceled. Oddly, the other three times I haven't felt quite this way, however. I have had a calm feeling as we approached the other dates. This time it's different, but I don't know why.

I'm also rather concerned about my son Nathan. He has just recovered from a week long bout with campylobacter, a food borne digestive infection. He was down for a solid week, and was left quite weak even after the infection had passed. He was already skinny when he got sick, and not eating for a week turned him into a bag of bones. He was very discouraged about being sick for so long, but his emotional health hasn't seemed to bounce back once his physical health was regained. It pains me to see him so sad and negative all the time. I'm at a loss what to do for him. It's a worry.

I find it ironic that loving people hurts so much.


  1. yeah, having him sick was sad. like you said, he didn't eat that much anyways before he got sick and being sick and not eating for a few days drained his strength pretty bad. he's better, at least, because me and him went to fly planes at the school a few times this last weekend.

  2. He also likes to pogo on his new pogo stick he got for his birthday, which is a rather energy taking activity.

  3. Hey... I hope that all goes well with your mom. That is very scary. I guess that you can look at the bright side of things that at least she tells you about this huge stuff that is going on in her life. My own great-grandmother had a heart attack and didn't even tell us about it until a few months later. She said she "didn't want to worry us," cept now we are always worried that maybe she is in the hospital and we might not even know about it!

    Plus also I made a deal with Nathan a few days ago that he will be better in 5 years from the date that we made the deal on. A thing on my phone is counting down the days, so he better stay better!

  4. Good luck with your mom. We feel so helpless when those we love have to go through difficult things and we can't do much to help. I always find it ironic that I think that there isn't anything I can do, when really prayer is the most powerful thing I can do and I always have that available. We will pray for you and your sweet family. Please keep us posted if you need anything.

  5. Mom came through the surgery okay, so now it's just a waiting game to see how the recovery goes. I've got my fingers crossed!

    Thanks everyone for your kind comments.

  6. Lisa, I am so glad that your mom came through ok. I also glad to hear that Nathan is perking up a little too. It is clear to me why I don't have a blog, since I can't even think of interesting things to say.