Greek Yogurt: Easier Than You Think

Greek yogurt is all the rage these days but boy howdy is it expensive!  I've seen prices approaching SIX bucks for a quart of the stuff.  Yeah, I won't pay that much for a quart of anything.  Additionally, almost all so-called Greek yogurt has additional ingredients (like pectin) to make it thicker.  Pectin isn't necessarily a bad thing per se, but it's a commercial shortcut that isn't necessary if you take the time to do it the old-fashioned way at home.

Authentic natural Greek style yogurt can be made for little more than the cost of the milk itself (currently a $2.60 gallon of whole milk becomes 2 quarts of Greek yogurt).

Making yogurt is a multi-step process that seems time consuming and confusing at first, but it's really very simple, and can be done with a few inexpensive tools you probably already own.

(Pictures at the end of the post)

Preparation and cooking time: less than one hour.
Processing time: 24 - 36 hours.

Ingredients:  

• Milk: anything from skim to whole milk will work, but whole milk will produce a slightly thicker, creamier yogurt.  Embrace the fat, I say!
• Yogurt starter:  Any plain or flavored yogurt that contains "Live and Active" cultures (it will say this on the label).  The starter imparts its flavor to the finished product, so choose one that you like.  My favorite starter is Mountain High Plain; Dannon and Activia brands also should work.  My In-Laws use Fage greek yogurt as a starter. You can also purchase powdered yogurt culture packets from the health food store.

Equipment:  

• Stainless steel saucepan or pot with lid.
• Kitchen thermometer.  My favorite has an increasing temperature alarm as well as a decreasing temperature alarm, but any accurate thermometer will do.
• Ice chest or cooler: large enough to easily fit your saucepan or pot inside.
• Colander or strainer that fits snugly inside a large pot or bowl
• Cheesecloth

Step 1:  Measure milk into a stainless steel saucepan or pot.  Use twice as much milk as the volume of greek yogurt you wish to produce.  Therefore, if you wish to end up with 1 Quart of thick greek yogurt, start with 2 Quarts of milk.

Step 2:  Cover pot with a lid.  Heat on medium to medium high heat until milk reaches 180 degrees F.*  Stirring is not required.  Stay in the kitchen and monitor the temperature every few minutes if your thermometer doesn't have an upper limit alarm.  Once the temperature gets above 140 F it goes fast, so stay close.  You do not want the milk to boil!

Step 3:  Remove saucepan from the stove onto a heat resistant surface or cooling rack.  Remove lid.  Allow milk to cool to 120 degrees F.  This will take 30 minutes or so.  If you're in a hurry, place the saucepan in a cold water bath in the sink and stir to speed up this process.

Step 4:  Add yogurt starter to cooled milk at a rate of 2 Tbsp starter to 1 Quart of milk (for powdered starter follow label instructions).  If making more than two quarts, you may stir gently to distribute starter throughout the milk, but it isn't necessary for small batches.  Yogurt culture is active between 90 and 120 degrees, so don't worry if your milk has cooled somewhat below 120.  The point is that you don't want to put the starter in milk warmer than 120 or you will kill the starter.

Step 5:   Add up to 6 inches of hot tap water to the cooler.  It's best if the water isn't too much above 120 degrees.  If your water heater is on steroids, test the temperature of the water to make sure it isn't above 130 degrees.  Place the cooler somewhere it won't be jostled or moved while the yogurt is fermenting.

Step 6:  Place saucepan into the cooler, making sure that the water is not in danger of flowing into the milk in the saucepan.  Water on the outside of the pan should be about the same level as the milk inside the pan.  It's ok if the pan floats.  If your saucepan won't fit in the cooler but you have another metal or glass container that does, it's fine to transfer the milk.  Do not cover the milk.

Step 7:  Close the lid of the cooler and set your alarm to come back in 24 hours.


After 24 hours your milk will have been transformed into yogurt!  There may be some separation of the curd from the whey.  It will have a sharp acidic smell and taste that is likely stronger than you are accustomed to from storebought yogurt.  If you don't like it that strong, try checking after 12 or 18 hours of fermentation.

Fresh, warm yogurt is still rather runny.  You may eat/drink it at this point, or refrigerate to thicken, or you may strain out the whey to turn it into thick Greek style yogurt.

Step 8:  Place colander/strainer inside a large deep bowl or pot so that it is suspended 4 or more inches from the bottom.  Line the colander with cheesecloth.

Step 9:  Slowly pour or spoon fresh yogurt into the cheesecloth (it will splatter so take your time with this).  Cover with a lid or towel and set an alarm for 12 hours.  I strain my yogurt at room temperature, where it will continue to ferment if there is any sugar left in the yogurt.  You may also refrigerate it during this process if you prefer.

After 12 hours, turn the thickened yogurt into a storage container and refrigerate.  It will keep in the fridge for a week, possibly longer.  (It never lasts that long at my house!)


Add flavorings when serving - favorites at our house include:

• Vanilla extract
• Sweetener of choice (honey, sugar, stevia, etc)
• Berries and preserves

* Heating the milk to 180 breaks down the sugars in the milk a bit and makes them easier for the yogurt cultures to digest, which results in a shorter processing time with a better set.  I don't recommend skipping this step.  I have tried to shorten the prep time by heating the milk only to 120, but the results are not as good. 

Pictures

In the cooler

A good set after 24 hours

Strainer and draining pot.

Cheesecloth - ready for yogurt

Spooning it in

The finished product - after 12 hours of straining.

Why Prune?

Have you ever wondered -- why should I pay someone to prune my fruit trees?  Don't they just... grow?

Yes, they grow.  Boy howdy do they grow.  Too much.  If left to itself, a fruit tree will grow upward like mad and you'll end up with a crowded tangle of a tree that will give you small, bland fruit, if it gives any fruit at all.

In order to grow into a strong tree that produces large, sweet fruit, all fruit trees need proper training.  Training is the multi-year process of shaping a young tree through selective pruning cuts and directing branches to grow in the desired direction through spreading or staking.

A properly trained tree will have sturdy, widely angled branches that will not split or break under the weight of a heavy fruit crop, and it will be shaped according to the specific variety of fruit tree to maximize light penetration for fruit production.

After training, some trees such as apricots, pears, apples, and plums need only light maintenance pruning to take out old unproductive wood, branches that interfere with the proper shape of the tree, and damaged or diseased wood.  Peach trees need a yearly hard pruning to promote growth of new productive wood.  A peach tree that is left un-pruned will slow its growth and stop producing fruit after a few years.

Below is a young peach tree before and after its annual pruning.

Courtesy of http://inorganicgardening.blogspot.com

It seems extreme to the untrained eye, but this is an example of how hard a young peach tree needs to be cut back in the spring to stimulate growth of new productive wood.

Below is an apple tree, still in the training stage, before and after pruning:

Courtesy of http://inorganicgardening.blogspot.com

 If a fruit tree is not trained into a healthy form, this is what you'll end up with :

(Courtesy of http://meousecrafts.com)

There are trees that require very little care to look good.  Those trees are not fruit trees.  If you're planning to invest time and money in a fruit tree, why not complete the process by giving the tree proper training and pruning.  You can take a class or buy some books and train yourself or hire a skilled fruit tree specialist to train and prune your trees.  They will repay you many times over in sweet, luscious fruit.

The Greenhouse

I've been starting seeds under lights in the basement for years, and have had reasonably good results doing that. I always fantasized about having a little greenhouse, but had nowhere to put one, and felt like the prefab kits were too expensive... so I relegated my want to the category labeled "dreams".

Then last year, Susan caught Flower Fever, and we ordered and started scores of flower seedlings under the lights. Suddenly, my humble four fluorescent-light fixture setup wasn't enough room. My tomatoes and peppers were fighting for space with Black Eyed Susans, Zinnias, African Daisies, Thunbergia, and Morning Glory. I had to clear another shelf and scavenge light fixtures from the ceiling of the storage room to provide light for everything. It was bordering on ridiculous -- I wish I'd taken a picture of it.

It was clear that the time had come to make my greenhouse dream a reality.

Last October, the project began. We decided we could fit a narrow lean-to style structure on the south side of the garage. It looked like this when we started (after we moved the grapevines that were formerly in residence).


Note: the worker removing the siding, who shall remain nameless, got a little carried away before I remembered to snap a "before" picture. Ahem.

Feeling pressure to get the structure up and shingled before the Winter-That-Never-Was hit, we worked hard for a couple of weeks. Tom took at least three days off work to help make it happen. Of course you know how it really went: HE did all of the heavy work and I spent my time on the fun parts that didn't require much upper body strength. Obviously, I couldn't have done this without him!

I'll spare you the blow by blow (believe me I have pictures of every step!), but by Thanksgiving this is what we had accomplished.



Here's a view from the interior after the benches went in.

Those 55-gallon drums (thanks dad!) supporting the benches are filled with water, which soaks up heat from the sun and slowly releases it at night, helping to keep the temperature inside well above freezing on all but the coldest winter nights. Just in case, I have a space heater on a thermostat that starts up if the temperature gets below 40 degrees.

Once the structure was weatherproof and insulated, we worked on it in fits and starts through the winter, adding siding to match the house, a door into the garage, a workbench and shelving at the west end, lighting, a thermostat controlled exhaust fan, and finally this weekend--a water line!

And just in the nick of time too -- because growing season is upon us!

*short pause while I do the Dance of Joy*

Here's the OUTSIDE on Sunday afternoon:



While THIS is going on INSIDE:

Working in the greenhouse in shirt sleeves is akin to a time-warp. I keep forgetting it's still February!

I WUB MY GREENHOUSE!

There's just one teeny-weensy problem: Already I wish it were bigger!

Seedlings

We are implementing a new system for growing seedlings here at the Funny Farm:

Soil Blocks. 

Soil Blocks are formed from a peat moss and compost soil mix by pressing with a hand-powered soil block maker. The result is a freestanding block of soil that is very space efficient and requires no container other than the flat it is placed in.

They're cute, but What's the Big Deal, you ask?

If you have ever purchased veggies or flower seedlings in those black plastic cell-packs, you have probably noticed that they are usually "root-bound", with the white roots circling the inside of the plastic container they were grown in. If planted as is, the roots tend to continue this habit, and when you pull out the plant at the end of the growing season, very often the roots look pretty much like they did when you started -- there is still that distinct "plug" that you planted way back in May!

Some gardeners (and I was among them) try to stimulate root growth by squeezing this root-bound cell, cutting the sides of the root-ball, or worse, tearing off the bottom half inch or so of the root-mass, especially if the roots are severely overgrown. This does stimulate more root growth but causes trauma to the plant, known as "transplant shock", evidenced by your newly planted seedlings just sitting there for a up to a week while they struggle to regrow those damaged roots.

This is where Soil Blocks shine. Because there are no plastic sides, the roots of the plant are air pruned and the plant can not become root-bound. This practically eliminates transplant shock, leading to faster maturity and possibly higher yields.

This makes it much easier to start indoors even difficult to transplant vegetables like peas, melons, corn, carrots, spinach, and other plants that are typically direct seeded into the garden later in the season.

I played around with it a bit last year and I was very pleased with initial results.

The Funny Farm is offering soil block grown snap peas, broccoli, cabbage, spinach, and leaf and romaine lettuces for mid march planting dates on a pre-order basis.  Tomatoes, peppers, onions, herbs, cucumbers, melons, summer and winter squash will be available for sale in May.

If you are interested, please call Lisa at 615-9623

When a Hobby Becomes a Business

Here at the Funny Farm we've decided to share our love of plants with a wider audience. I get so many requests for help with fruit tree selection and pruning, rose care, and other garden questions that I've decided to make it official: The Funny Farm is now open for business.

I have no plans to charge for helping anyone with garden and tree questions -- I love to talk about it too much to get paid for that. And truth be told this little venture is more of a tax shelter than a real expectation of making much money.

Beginning now, I am offering fruit tree and small ornamental pruning services at very reasonable rates. We will also offer flower and vegetable seedlings in a limited basis later in the spring, as well as garden produce in season.

I'll be posting in the future about all of these services and more, but today let's talk about fruit tree pruning.

There are a lot of people who want to grow their own fruit or may have purchased a house with existing fruit trees but haven't the least idea how to train and care for them in order to ensure maximum tree health and years of optimal fruit production.

Sometimes folks have basic knowledge about pruning and keep meaning to get out and prune their trees, roses, lilacs, and other flowering shrubs but life keeps getting in the way and before they know it, the window of opportunity has passed. Don't let that happen to you this year.

I know what you're thinking: It's only February... no need to worry about pruning trees until March or April, right? Answer: Yes and No. Pruning Peaches, Nectarines, Apricots, Cherries, and Plums too early can bring on early blooming, so I recommend waiting until the buds are getting fat or even open bloom before pruning these fruits, usually in late March through April. Apples, Pears, Grapes, and Berries can be pruned much earlier. I typically begin work on these four in February. So if you have an Apple, Pear, Grapevine, or Raspberries/Blackberries you'd like help with, now is the time to get on the schedule, because once Peach pruning season hits, it's uncertain if I'll have time to help with these other fruits.

Speaking of peaches, I can't stress enough the necessity of a thorough annual pruning to stimulate new growth which will promote tree health and ensure a plentiful crop of luscious fruit year after year. Not only does fruit production dwindle on neglected Peach trees, but what fruit is produced will often be less flavorful due to inadequate sunlight and air circulation. In addition the health and vigor of the tree suffers, making it more susceptible to disease and insect invasion.

Grapevines put forth 4+ feet of new growth each season, and without careful training and annual pruning grapes can quickly get out of control. Because of this, many people are afraid to plant grapes and miss out on the beautiful landscaping potential of this wonderful fruit. Grapes can be trained on a sturdy fence, wall, or arbor and once established do very well with little to no fertilizer or extra water, producing sweet juicy fruit for decades. With yearly pruning, Grapes are as close to getting something for nothing as it gets!

Raspberry and blackberry canes need pruning as well, and it isn't always as simple as just cutting them off at the ground. There are Summer Bearing raspberry varieties that bear fruit only on last year's canes, and those must be pruned differently than a Fall Bearing raspberry like Heritage. Blackberries are vigorous once established, and require annual thinning and pruning to cut out old wood and keep new shoots coming to ensure good fruit production as well as to contain the plant and make it easier to pick this wonderful fruit. Considering how expensive they are in the stores, I think everyone should have at least a few blackberries and raspberries in their garden.

I can also help with the pruning and care of small ornamentals including roses, lilacs, snowball bushes, and other flowering shrubs. Often neglected due to owners being unsure how to prune, these plants grow healthier and bloom more vigorously with regular renewal maintained by selective pruning of old wood.

To clarify, I am not an arborist. I do not have the equipment, the physical strength, nor the death-wish necessary to perform large tree services or tree removal. There are plenty of folks in the phone book you can call for that. But if you need someone with know-how, passion, and experience in pruning all kinds of fruit producing plants, The Funny Farmer is the one to call.

As always, if you have any questions, you can post them below or contact me directly at 615-9623.

Got Money?

Hey everyone,

I just ran across a blog about money management that has impressed me: Len Penzo Dot Com. This blog is written by a non-professional (he's an engineer by trade), and he doesn't seem to be selling anything.

He's done analyses of all kinds - consumer products, pros and cons of credit cards, interest savings on pre-paying mortgage principal, the lowdown on rechargeable batteries, and of course, financial tips and strategies.

Check it out.

Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick

Yeah, it's been awhile.

Nobody needs to get excited that I'm up and blogging again. I'm making no promises. But I have some things rattling around in my head that I want to get down.

Life has a way of jerking you around. You think things are how you want them, and suddenly they change. I hate change. And yet it seems to be the one thing in life I can always count on.

I am reeling today from two recent changes in my life.

First, my BFF of two years moved away a couple of weeks ago, taken 3 hours away by her husband's new job. It's a really great opportunity for their family: Better pay and benefits, shorter commute, solid company that values its employees, opportunity for promotion-- really a no-brainer. I was as supportive as I knew how to be. I was heavily involved in the process of packing and moving. I tried to do whatever I could to smooth the incredibly stressful process of moving a family of seven, like a good friend should. I'm thrilled for them, truly I am. But I am also totally and completely left behind, and feeling somewhat sorry for myself about that.

Desolate is the word that comes to mind.

And while it's true that I have more time for my own projects now, and I'm keeping up on the housework better than I did for the last month (which surely pleases my husband), I miss her terribly. I spent the last two plus years spending at least part of almost every weekday with this chick, and that will never happen again. I feel like someone died. And even though I can still talk to her on the phone and go to visit from time to time, it will never be the same again. And that makes me very sad.

Did I mention I hate change?

Second, my oldest daughter went to college this week. I helped her move her things to her apartment on Wednesday. I have felt oddly unemotional about the whole thing, and have wondered how I could be so untouched by this huge event. Perhaps I've been so preoccupied with the First big change (see above), that I didn't really give much attention to this other thing I hate but can't control.

It was our idea, my husband's and mine, for her to move out for college, even though the school is only 10 miles to the north of us. We believe that children are meant to grow up and live their own lives someday - and we've based our whole philosophy of parenting on the principle of independence. We wanted her to have the full college experience, and believed that is hard to do when a student commutes from home. She's learned as much as she can while living at home, and it's time for the next stage of her growth living independently, or as much as one can be independent when mom and dad are paying for room and board, anyway.

The move went well, and our goodbye was tear-free. I actually haven't spoken to her since then, although my husband has. I think about her several times every day, wondering what she's doing and hoping that she's enjoying her new life.

And then this afternoon I was planning what to fix for dinner tonight, and my mind automatically calculated what quantity of food to prepare based on who would be in attendance. And then it hit me: she won't be here tonight, and will never eat dinner here on a regular basis again. And suddenly her move became real, and those oddly absent emotions rose up without warning and made my eyes sweat a little. I felt a little silly that my grief took two whole days to surface. My friend apparently thought so too, judging by the chortling that came over the phone line when I shared my quasi-epiphany with her.

And now I'm sitting here thinking of all the things we didn't do before she left, and wishing I had paid more attention and planned better for her exodus. My bad. My loss.

Please Lord, no more changes this month.

Pop-up harassment

So I'm looking into booting my daughter out of the house in the fall. Along with having control over her life, I figure she should have control over her cell phone bill (as in pay for it). You know? So I'm online looking at different options, and I browse on over the the Cricket Wireless website. I'm looking at the chart showing the various individual plan offerings, when the screen grays out and this little pop-up, well... pops up! Apparently I took too long to click on an option and they think I need help from their live chat person in India. I don't want to talk to someone from India at the moment and so I look for the little x that will close the pop-up. And guess what-- There isn't one. No apparent way to close the box. It just sits there, right in the middle of the website, following my every mouse move. I scroll up, it scrolls up. I click on an option, it follows me to the next page. There is no getting rid of this thing! The only options I seem to have is either to click on the "chat" button in the middle of the pop-up, or close the browser and escape the webpage.

So what do you think I did?

in reference to:

"Cell"
- Cricket Wireless | Prepaid Cell Phone Plans, Unlimited Cellular Plans (view on Google Sidewiki)

Five Minute Friday - March 5

Every now and then I think I should post, but don't want to take the time to compose, proofread, edit, over and over as I was trained to do in college. It all sounds like too much work, so I end up not posting at all. So today I'm going to just write for five minutes, and when the buzzer goes off, I'll stop.

And I'm drawing a blank...

last night we went to Karianne's choir concert at the high school. She sang and danced so well and I have to admit that I was proud. My dad came down for the evening and it's always nice to have him visit.

The house is essentially finished - meaning that we're using all the rooms now, including the kitchen. Our beautiful cabinets and countertops are in and we LOVE THEM! Nathan remarked the other night that it is actually fun to do dishes in a nice kitchen that looks good when you clean it up. I figured it also helps that now the TV is facing the ktichen he can watch the BYU basketball game while he works so it doesn't seem like so much of a chore. That was one of our goals in building on -- so that the person in the kitchen wasn't isolated from the rest of the family. Mission accomplished on that one.

Tomorrow the electrician will come to install the last of the lights, and then all that is left is some paint touch up and to make a decision about the kitchen backsplash. Oh, and design and install shelving for the pantry. Does anyone know of a good, affordable closet place they can recommend?

Susan has a drumline competition at her high school Saturday afternoon. We are excited to go and support her and the team in this regional competition. If you don't know what drumline is, come and find out! You'll be very pleasantly surprised! Tickets are $5 per person, $20 per family.

And... that's all folks. Have a good weekend.

You know that girl?

The one who strings along four guys at once, and the one she likes best is the last one she made out with?

I feel like that girl.

I am courting several granite countertop guys. First there's Steve. My sister introduced me to him. He did countertops for her last townhome project (her husband is a builder). Steve is the lowest bidder, but doesn't have the expensive high tech CNC machines and water jet cutters. I find myself wanting to hire him because of my sister's recommendation, but I just don't feel right about it.

Then there is Juan. Juan got our number from the building permit we filed with the city. He talks too much, and I always find myself cringing when I see his number on my phone. But he's attentive, and other people who have used his company are very happy with their work. He doesn't seem to know exactly what kind of tools they use at his shop. But his bid is only a few hundred more than Steve's. I'm going tomorrow to see some of his work.

Dave is kind of the strong silent type. I've never actualy met him. When I talked to him he seemed a little annoyed when I challenged him on the cost of a certain type of granite. He claims they do it better than anyone else, with fancy schmancy equipment, water cooled diamond tipped saws (aren't they all diamond tipped?), and computerized laser templates. Whatever that means. His bid is $500 to $1000 more than Juan's. I haven't talked to him in awhile... and I'm not sure why.

BJ is a tall strapping young man who is sure his product is superior to anything else. He may be right, but that's what everyone else is telling me as well, so it's hard to know. His website is flashy and comprehensive and lists an obscene number of projects. I'm waiting for him to get me some contacts so I can talk to real customers. His bid is about the same as Dave's.

Then there is Matt. Matt runs his family's countertop business, which has been around for decades. That is encouraging. However, Matt's bid came in far and away the highest -- and it is completely out of my reach. Maybe his granite is laced with gold, but it's too rich for my blood.

So here I am, keeping them all on a string and I'm afraid to break up with any of them. What if I break up with "THE ONE"? How do I know I'm making the right choice? And I really hate to hurt them. But since I'm pretty sure polyandry is illegal, not the mention the fact that I'm already married to the perfect man, I'm going to have to break some hearts.

Wish me luck!

Stream of Consciousness Sunday

No editing for content or paragraph structure -- just thoughts as they spill forth from my brain before the weekend is over. I'll warn you in advance, it's boring.

So - we went to the BYU-UTAH game saturday afternoon. All six of us. We decided early in the season that this was the year we would all go together to the Holy War. So we sold our season tickets online and bought six seats together, which ended up being in the top row of the east stands, around the 30 yard line. I'd rather be high up than down low in the endzone, so I was happy. We got there early enough to watch the BYU marching band drumline do their little pre-game show. Each of the kids picked a favorite treat to munch on -- cotton candy for nathan and megan, and cougar tails (an 18-inch long maple bar; at least 1000 calories I'm guessing) for susan and karianne. Nathan and megan later went and spent their own money on cougar tails.

I don't need to tell the story of how BYU and UTah were locked in a defensive struggle and how it went into overtime, and how Max Hall threaded the needle between two Utah defenders to complete a pass to Andrew George who ran 15 yards for the winning touchdown! It was pretty exciting. If we hadn't been on the very top row, we might have rushed the field with the other deliriously happy fans. Instead we just took pictures. If i can get mobile blogging to work I'll put them on here. If not, just use your imagination.

Oh look! I figured it out! Whee - I deserve a sticker I think.





Enough about that. I'm boring even myself.

So this weekend I took a break from my diet. And promptly gained 4 pounds of water weight. I've eaten lots of stuffing and pie and wicked little chocolate dipped mints (thanks a lot Susan! :shakes fist:). I feel sluggish and my eyes sting. Now that the weekend is over, I am trying to screw up my resolve to avoid sugar and refined carbs and hopefully the water will come back off and my energy will bounce back. A friend who is also doing the same diet has offered me some resources for recipes so that's kind of exciting. Thanks heather! :)

Susan starts driver's ed tomorrow morning at SIX A.M. And I am on carpool duty this week. Whee! So the plan is to drop her off and then hit the gym for an hour before returning home to roust other sleepy children from bed.

It promises to be a busy day. I'm meeting with a cabinet maker to look at his drawings and bid for kitchen cabinets and window seats. I've got to get to the store to restock on all the things we've run out of over the holiday weekend. And susan gets her braces off after school! We are all very excited for her. She has requested a celebration dinner including steak, crash hot potatoes, fresh pineapple, and limonada.

The construction guys should be back in the morning, and hopefully the electrician and HVAC guys will finish their work so the city inspector can come and sign off on the progress so far. Then the insulation and sheet-rocking will commence, hopefully by the end of the week. After the new room is insulated, then the kitchen wall comes out, and things start to get really messy. I'll lose two upper cabinets and maybe more, so we'll probably switch to paper dishes at that point.

There's always more, but I'm tired and I'm sure you're bored. Have a great week everyone.

The short story

Of course I have a million things to tell y'all, but there is never enough time, so I'll just settle for bullet points for now.

1. The "real" camera is no more -- it got dropped in the river, and after several weeks of lying in pieces drying, all attempts at recessitation have been abandoned. (yes, I know I misspelled resussetate, but I don't care enough to look it up. Feel free to correct me in comments.)

2. Becauase there is no real camera with a cute little memory card I can easily pop into my computer, all photos are now being taken on my nifty Samsung Behold phone. I love this phone, but the camera on it is a pain to use, since it takes literally 3 seconds to take a picture after I press the button, but it's better than nothing. The problem is getting photos off my phone onto the computer, and then taking the time to upload them onto blogger. Hence, the experimentation with blogging (aka blowing) by phone. My first attempt at sending photos failed, and I haven't yet had time to figure out why.

3. What's going on in my life? Many many things, but there's no time to list them all. The main ones are: First, my house is being torn apart, and all that that implies. We are now handwashing dishes, and it appears that I am about to lose the use of my sink, which will send us to paper products. Within weeks we'll be kitchenless entirely. It's a little stressful. Second, the dance recital is rapidly approaching, and geniuses that we are, my adult clogging class decided to sew our own blue sequinned (sp?) dresses for costumes. We saved a bundle of money by doing it ourselves versus buying shiny blue dresses from a costume shop, but I fear the cost of therapy to recover from the insanity of sewing five dresses may wipe out that savings. Lately, sewing has been taking up every spare minute that I'm not cooking, shopping, laundering, ironing... you get the point.

4. With so much material, why am I not blogging? See 1 and 2 above. But the main reason is that I am just plain lazy. There are always things I think of blogging about, but perfectionist that I am, I want every post to be perfect and witty and amazing, and I just don't have the energy or desire to make that happen. I finally decided that if I'm going to blog right now, there will just have to be misspellings and possibly even (gasp!) bad grammar and run on sentences. Any wit will be pure accident, through no fault of my own. My new motto, "Give us the facts, Ma'am, just the facts."

4. When I am not sewing, cleaning, cooking, sewing, laundering, ironing, sewing, shopping, or running kids to physical therapy or wherever else they need to go, I am researching and trying to make decisions about furnishings and flooring, cabinets and countertops and carpeting, fixtures and fireplaces, paint and plumbing, windows and appliances, and all the other decisions that go with remodeling. It's overwhelming. Again, my perfectionisitc tendencies slow me down. With a project of this scope and expense, I am paralyzed with fear that I'll make a mistake and HATE what I've chosen, and just have to live with my incompetence. I'm not really confident in my own sense of taste, and so afraid to make a mistake that I procrastinate making decisions until I am forced to. All of this equals stress. My husband and my bff are indispensible to the process. When I want to quit and torch the house, my dear sweet man talks me down from the edge. He installs speaker wire for the surround sound system he designed, unclogs the troublesome toilet that keeps threatening to flood (it is now taped shut and will need to be replaced, pronto!) and cuts into sheetrock to find the leak in the kitchen sink drain that is causing mold to grow on the basement wall. My bff kicks my fanny into gear and provides another perspective for decisions that I am terrified of making. Together they keep me sane. Without them I'd be a quivering mass of nerves.

5. Being super busy does have it's upside. After halloween I started a very strict diet (I really hate saying that four letter word), and having been so busy, I don't really miss food too much. I've had some pretty good success so far but I've still got a long way to go. Wish me luck over the next month of holidays. And please, if you love me, don't bring goodies to my house! :D

Ok - time's up. Gotta roust kids and read scriptures and make lunches and kick them all out the door. Then it's a shower and yep, you guessed it, MORE SEWING! Wheeeeee!

Sunrise

In the summer, sometimes I would get up super early in the morning to take pictures of the sunrise.

Then I got smart.

In mid November, the sun comes up at 7:06 am.

Purty, huh?

This Is a test. This Is only a test of the mobile blowing system.

What's in a Name?

My son and I happened across this anagram generator today and had a lot of fun putting our family's names in. Give it a try and post your results in the comments!

What? You want to know what my name made?

Well, that depends on which names I put in.

First and married last name: On sane ills.

First name and maiden name: British able.

And finally, my favorite --

First, maiden, and married name: Brothels in lesbian.

Ack!

Is it wrong that I think this is so funny?

My husband saw this on a sports forum that he frequents, and it made me smile.


And then I giggled.


And then I said, "I need that for my blog!"


Maybe my sense of humor is whacked. Go ahead, you can say it. But if you're not laughing too, you can't be my friend. Just sayin'...

I've fallen and I can't get up!

So a few people are giving me grief about my lack of blogging lately. Well, actually they just asked why I haven't been posting. And mention that they check my blog every day. And that they've been disappointed every day for weeks. Does that count as giving me grief? Yeah, I thought so too.

Anyway. I agree that my blog has been pretty lame lately. The really sad thing is that not only is my blog pathetic, I am apathetic.

Get it? I love word play. Ahem.

The thing is that I just don't feel like writing anymore. Stuff happens, and I think of posting. Sometimes I even start to write a post. And then I stop. The writing doesn't flow like it used to. The process of *composting sentences, proofreading, and editing is more work than I want to do. I'm just not feeling the blove anymore.

Oh - here's something funny: Just yesterday The Motherboard posted a comment informing me that she moved my blog to the "Funny Ladies" category on Mormon Mommy Blogs.

If you know me, you know that I love irony. So I just couldn't resist a wry smile at the fact that just when I achieve "Funny Lady" status, I'm not funny anymore.

It's funny, right?


*Yes, Crazy Lady, I put that in there just for you.

Another Cat Video

WARNING: Before watching this video I highly recommend that you visit the bathroom. You can empty your bladder now, or later. It's your choice.

Ever get that feeling you're being followed?

This is not my cat. Great video though!

Attempted felinicide

My husband has only two faults: he doesn't like onions, and he is not a cat lover. I can forgive the first foible, but had I known about his dislike for felines before that uber-cold day in December 18 years ago, it might have been a deal breaker.

I had no idea how deep his dislike for my cat ran until last night I was in the kitchen cooking dinner, and I heard a faint cougar-like scream. Just kidding -- I didn't hear it, because I had the Christmas music turned up too loud. But Susan, who was reclining on the living room couch in her sickish state, heard it. Then SUDDENLY! Tom burst through the front door and sprinted through the kitchen and threw open the door to the garage. And then I saw it: my cat's hindquarters under the closed garage door!!!!

She writhed and screamed pitifully as he leapt down the garage steps and ran to yank on the emergency door release. He lifted the door up. And the cat ran away, leaving desperate scrambling tracks in the newly fallen snow.

Half an hour later she appeared at the back door, begging to come in. I picked her up cooed and kissed her and massaged her spine looking for tenderness or bruising, but she acted like nothing had happened. So far, so good.

Update: late last night I heard an odd tinkling coming from the living room. So I looked through the doorway and what did I see?

♫ Four shoes on the floor
Three dirty socks
Two newspapers
And a Cat in the Christmas tree. ♫♪

I think she's gonna be just fine.